Have you noticed a pattern in your relationship? You know, the one where the more one of you wants to talk out something, the more the other does not and you end up in a seemingly never ending dance of not getting core issues settled. The more you want to talk it out and the other does not, the more abandoned, hurt, angry and disconnected you both feel. This pattern, if continued, eventually leads to complete emotional disconnection and the ending of your relationship. It is well known that counselling is much less expensive than divorce, so how about taking a chance on reconnecting?
Emotionally focused therapy is generally a short term (8 to 20 sessions) couples therapy approach. It has been found that 70 to 75% of couples effectively move from distress to recovery using EFT and approximately 90% of couples show significant improvement in their relationships. EFT has a basis in clear and explicit conceptualizations of adult love and marital/relational distress. EFT is a state of the art, evidence based and very effective couple counselling approach pioneered and researched by Dr. Sue Johnson, an internationally renowned Canadian psychologist and researcher from Ottawa. Originally developed for couples, EFT has found effectiveness for family members, romantic partners and individuals.
Through the exploration of emotion, reactions, inter-relations and behaviors, couples can identify and study their individual roles and the effect each has on the dynamic of the relationship. Each partner is encouraged to express their experiences and emotions in a non-judgemental and secure environment. By witnessing the release of feelings and anxieties of one partner, the other is able to gain new insight and perception into the validity and emotional state that their own actions and experiences have on the relationship as a whole. Without criticism or consequence, the partners are permitted to voice their deepest concerns and conflicts in order to addres them and move beyond them to develop more productive and collaborative behaviors and to become more closely connected emotionally.
The approach is revealed in a very readable and practical book entitled “Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love”. Using this book as a guide, and encouraging you to read along and complete homework exercises designed to increase your understanding of your relationship patterns, Patricia Lavelle with advanced level training in EFT for Couples will collaborate with you to identify your particular version of the Demon Dialogues, the repetitive patterns that highjack your emotional connection in your relationship, and give you the tools to repair these and create new patterns of emotional intimacy.