Did you know that there is a free MOOC (Massive Online Open Course) through Edx on The Science of Happiness? It is the first MOOC to teach the groundbreaking science of positive psychology, which explores the roots of a happy and meaningful life. If you really want to explore the research and practice of happiness, this course is a thorough, enjoyable and information experience. As you think about what happiness is for yourself here are some definitions.

According to Websters Online Dictionary, the word happiness is 1 : good fortune : prosperity; 2a : a state of well-being and contentment : joy; 2b : a pleasurable or satisfying experience.

Research in the field of positive psychology and happiness often define a happy person as someone who experiences frequent positive emotions, such as joy, interest, and pride, and infrequent (though not absent) negative emotions, such as sadness, anxiety and anger (Lyubomirsky et al., 2005). Happiness has also been said to relate to life satisfaction, appreciation of life, moments of pleasure, but overall it has to do with the positive experience of emotions.

What gives you happiness?

I have many definitions of happiness. Mostly it is an inner state of calmness and well being. It is not a permanent state and often is in flux, sometimes minute to minute.  But that feeling that things are well is a touchstone telling me that I am happy.

One thing that consistently both makes me happy is hiking in the mountains.  I love the entire process. I get my day pack ready the night before with water, food, rain gear and bear spray, a necessary protector and something I do know how to use. I enjoy figuring out which hike to go on, read about it, make a copy of the trail description and bring along a map of the area. The anticipation is a big part of the the enjoyment. Then on the day of the hike, this past Sunday, I love getting up early, 6 a.m, Because of the preparation the day before, the morning is quite simple, get up, get ready, make coffee and go. Another happiness point is stopping at my local bagel place to get my breakfast. Then I headed up to the hike location.

It was a clear, cool, sunny morning. Have you ever  noticed how still it is in the early morning? And the scents? I can smell the spruce trees, the roses, the air. There were few if any other vehicles. Now here is one of my extreme happiness points.. Am I the first or one of the first to park? Will I be alone on the trail? And I got my happiness. There were only two other vehicles. Since it was 7:30 a.m. I  surmised that they were in the back-country campground. I was thrilled with  this, got ready and off I went. I was the only one on the trail going up to the pass, sitting at the pass and heading down. It was a really good day. And now I have a memory to draw from any time I want a feeling of happiness. Savoring the experience afterwards is a big part of what brings me the positive feeling all over again.

Experience, Collect, Savor

What  experiences do you have that bring you happiness? Experience them, collect them, savor them.

Here here is an article that talks about how to maximize the happiness from your vacation. One part is the first few days and last days being positive have a more lasting effect on your happiness going forward.

Happy Summer Holidays to you. 

Current life can be fast paced. There are so many opportunities for our attention being taken away from what we are doing in the moment. Distractions abound. Stresses are relentless. It is easy to become overwhelmed with the sheer volume of information that comes our way.

One practice that counteracts the intensity of living in the 21^st Century  and has a growing base of research to support its benefits is mindfulness meditation. Jon Kabat Zinn, early researcher in the area of mindfulness based stress reduction defines mindfulness as  “The awareness that emerges through paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally to the unfolding of experience moment by moment.”

One of the most powerful approaches to mindfulness is simply allowing your attention to shift from whatever you’re doing to your breath.  This sounds very simple, but notice what happens when you do that. Your mind tends to jump all over the place. Suddenly your to do list becomes front and center or unfinished work or what to have for dinner that night. This is normal. Gradually you can shift your thoughts over and over to your breath and gain a sense of calm. Your mind may not ever stop completely but having the intention to focus on your breathing can bring many positive benefits..

The benefits of having a mindfulness practice, simply counting ten breaths, pausing to notice what is around you, having appreciation for what you do have in your life or walking with awareness are many – physical, mental, emotional, spiritual.  Having a mindfulness practice, even for very short periods of time, is like brushing your teeth daily.  Doing so can prevent the unhealthy build up of stress and give you the ability to function better in your daily lives.

Here are two links to really good information on the what, why, how and how to of mindfulness in your life. It’s as easy as paying attention to what you are doing in the here and now.

• http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/mindfulness/definition
• https://www.pocketmindfulness.com/6-mindfulness-exercises-you-can-try-today/

Key to Effective Mindfulness

The key to a mindfulness practice is to treat it like learning any new skill. Practice once or twice daily starting with five to ten minutes and working up to twenty minutes daily and do this over several weeks to see the benefits. You might even take a course to help your practice.

Just like learning to play the piano or a sport, you could not do it well the first time. It took practice over days, months, years to become good at it. Mindfulness is a learned skill something you can become good at with daily, consistent practice.

What is work?

Work involves the application of physical or mental effort, skills, knowledge or other personal resources, usually involves commitment over time, and has connotations of effort and a need to labour or exert oneself (Warr 1987; OECD 2003). Work is not only ‘a job’ or paid employment, but includes unpaid or voluntary work, education and training, family responsibilities and caring.

Why is work-life balance important?

Work Life balance is important because we all need to do some work throughout our lives, paid, unpaid, family support or education. For some people it is a means to an end; for other’s work is a big source of meaning. Many fall in between these two. I’d like to invite you to put some perspective on work to help us look at how our work factors into our lives.

What happens when there’s imbalance?
Work-life imbalance is a challenge for many, many people. A study by the career web site Vault.com revealed that 69% of respondents said that the amount of vacation time they receive is NOT sufficient. A study by the Families and Work Institute revealed that chronically overworked employees have an adverse effect on business outcomes. They are more likely to make mistakes, resent their employers, and resent co-workers for not working as hard as they do.

Multi-tasking is a key contributor to employees feeling overwhelmed. According to the Corporate Executive Board only 30% of employees feel they have a good work-life balance. A recent study among 50,000 global workers indicated that work-life balance ranked 2nd in importance after compensation.

Work is good for you???
There is a strong evidence base showing that work is generally good for physical and mental health and well-being. Worklessness is associated with poorer physical and mental health and well-being. Work can be therapeutic and can reverse the adverse health effects of unemployment. That is true for healthy people of working age, for many disabled people, for most people with common health problems and for retired individuals.

The provisos are that account must be taken of the nature and quality of work and its social context; jobs should be safe and accommodating. Overall, the beneficial effects of work outweigh the risks of work, and are greater than the harmful effects of long-term unemployment or prolonged sickness absence. Work is generally good for health and well-being.

What is work-life balance?
Work-life balance is the dynamic relationship between achievement and fulfillment, and the factors that influence our choices and decisions in these two areas. Here’s a link to Canadian Mental Health Associations quiz on work life balance. There are also Tips for Work Life Balance on that page.

Patricia’s Five Tips for Better Work-Life Balance:

1. Exercise regularly. Not only is exercise good for your mental and physical development, it combats the effects of daily stress. Canadian Physical activity recommendations are to achieve health benefits, adults aged 18 – 64 years should accumulate at least 150 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity per week, in bouts of 10 minutes or more. It is also beneficial to add muscle and bone strengthening activities using major muscle groups at least two days per week. More physical activity provides greater health benefits.
2. Sleep seven to eight hours per night. Getting consistent sleep restores us and is the “secret weapon” of high performers at work and in their lives. Elite athletes have found increasing their sleep to up to 10 hours per night improves their performance so you are in good company.
3. Have a morning routine. For the first hour of your day avoid checking your phone, emails, texts, Facebook page. Instead, use this time for planning your day and spend time on high priority tasks during this time. You are generally fresher and more able to focus to get more completed during this time.
4. Build in breaks during your day. These are shorter energizer breaks to be taken throughout your day, such as working for 25 minutes and taking five minutes doing something different; working for 50 minutes and taking a ten minute break or working two one hour periods with a half hour break. It can be helpful to use a timer to remind yourself to take the breaks. Such an approach can increase your energy and focus in order to be more productive throughout the day.
5. Know your why. Find your purpose and motivation for why you are doing the work you are doing Some purposes include serving others, being there for people or making a difference. This is something to revisit on an ongoing basis.

First, what has you feeling warm and calm?

For me a fall ( and winter) ritual is among other things, drinking tea at night. Right now I’m enjoying a hot cup of vanilla cinnamon chai and listening to some jazz music. My fireplace is on and the salt lamp is glowing warmly. There’s something so elemental and soothing about tea, good music and the warmth of a fire.

Second, what helps you relax?

Something that I have been finding extremely useful for managing emotional stress is based in neurobiology. Dr. Rick Hanson, neuropsychologist and author of three books, Hardwiring Happiness, Just One Thing and Buddha’s Brain, describes three parts of the brain that are important to understand and corresponding actions for “taking in the good” so that we can increase our positive experience and settle the inherent, self protective fear activation of our reptilian brain or brain stem, the perception of lack fostered in our mammalian brain or precortex and the feeling of disconnectedness or isolation originating in the human brain or cortex. The process is called taking in the good and is defined in an acronym HEAL. H stands for have a positive experience, E means to enrich the experience, A means to absorb the positive and L is for linking the positive to the negative. It is akin to remembering and savoring positive experiences in a deliberate and effective way.

Thirdly, what are you doing for exercise?

Exercise has so many positive effects. It enhances well being, reduces stress and promotes longevity. It is not necessary to train for competitive events to have the benefits of regular cardiovascular exercise and strength training. Walking for thirty minutes three times per week is very helpful. Pilates is an exercise that I have found excellent for developing core and general body strength.?

So it is important to have “uber” self care when the daily stress increases and seasons change. Do what helps you feel warm and cared for, take in the good and do some regular exercise. My bonus strategy is to get sunlight directly in your eyes first thing in the morning, outside, not through a window or with your glasses on and go out walking in the daylight.

In contrast to the idyllic picture above, Mother Nature has served up record snowfalls this past winter (I’m a skier so I love them for the most part, but many do not) leading to record road closures outside Revelstoke, BC, rainfalls in the form of the worst floods in years in Manitoba, the terrible tsunami effects in Japan and fires burning down whole neighborhoods in Slave Lake, Alberta, not to mention the simply horrid spring that was really winter in disguise in the Bow Valley. So how do you cope with these vicious swings in something that affects all of us and that is completely out of our control to change?

Weather is one of those things that is talked about a lot and creates a great deal of negativity. Most of us do not have the option to relocate to a more stable, warm and welcoming climate. I even read somewhere on the internet that if Canadians did not have the weather to talk about, they would not have anything to talk about. So what to do? Think about it for yourself… How many conversations that you have with others revolve around the weather, good or bad? That’s a fair amount of time spent on something over which we have no control and yet impacts each one of us so significantly.

Here are some do’s for coping better with the uncontrollable events in our lives, such as the weather and natural disasters that have occurred in this past few months.

• Do identify what you do and do not have control over in such situations; most often all you have control over is how you  think, feel and act about the situation. To quote Henry Ford “If you think you can or think that you cannot, you areright”, meaning our thoughts about a situation can determine the outcome.
• Do realize that it is normal and natural to feel badly about  things outside your control. If, however, you dwell on this and start blaming the outside factors  for your feelings and thoughts, or dwell on negative thoughts and feelings, your life can become more difficult.
• Do realize that there is nothing that you can do about the weather. You can look at your own attitude and decide if your present attitude, thoughts and feelings arehelpful to you. You can make the deliberate change  to have more helpful thoughts, feelings and actions. These might include doing an enjoyable activity, spending time with friends or family. To help with the shift, take a five minute belly breathing session or simply place the image of a big STOP sign in your mind, followed by shifting to something different.
• Do make  a list of things that you like to think, see, do and play at so that whendifficult external situations arise you canrefocus  your energies in  a more positive direction and  feel better about yourself.
• Do what you can do with things such as naturaldisasters. You can donate money, time, old clothing and send positive thoughtsto the location.
• Do focus on what you are thankful for in yourlife and live according to what is important to you. You can refocus yourenergies on things over which you exert influence.
• Do look into using a SAD (Seasonal AffectiveDisorder) light as the sun heads south after June 21 in the northern hemisphereif you experience low energy, irritability, negative thought patterns andchanges in your sleep patterns as the summer progresses and fall approaches.

In sum, do put your energies where they will have the most positive effect for you. Choose this direction and refrain from focusing on things over which you have no control.

The process of writing and honing material for the website was a challenge, both positively and negatively.  My great website designer, Norja Vanderelst of Colour Infusion Web Design, was infinitely patient and had good humour with my careful, measured speed toward the process. That means I took a long time to write the content by virtue of putting it off and then had several rewrites. My friends Dr. Matt Graham and Kelly Green did the critique for me… And they’re still friends. Lol. It was overwhelming at times to figure out what to include so that it could be most helpful to you in deciding if my counselling services fit your needs. In the end, it was rewarding to go through the process.  I highly recommend it. And have Norja do a website for you and with you.

I have my practice both in Canmore and Calgary.

In Canmore: my practice is on Thursday evenings and Saturdays during the day at Ridgeview Medical Centre.

I am in Calgary on Wednesdays all day at Bow Valley Counselling and Mediation on the Second Floor, Suite  200,  2120 Kensington Road. I hope to meet you sometime. Now that the commercial is over I do have some thoughts to share about having a positive family or couple or friend holiday this summer… that is if we ever see some warm weather.

For this first information blog, I have some thoughts to share about summer vacations away from home and four ways to improve your chances of having an enjoyable time, free of meltdowns and/or relationship difficulties.

To make the most of your holiday time, in your planning include thoughts about how you will deal with spending more time together with family, friends, spouses and partners. This can be difficult because we all have the tendency to think that if we have a change of scenery, things with our relationships will improve automatically. This is not necessarily going to happen. I think one of the things that people can avoid planning for in their vacation time is the relationship matters that will come up during that time.

To have you have the best experience possible in your time away from your regular routine I have the following four tips:

1. Identify any relationship difficulties you are having currently and either clear them up prior to leaving on vacation or make time for talking about them while away.
2. Remember that it is possible to get too much of one another no matter how much you love and enjoy one another. Take some time to think about your trip, the amount of together time it will entail and to plan for some time apart, even if it means sitting at separate tables in a restaurant for a while. Another way to get alone time is by bringing an enjoyable individual activity to  do sitting side by side ( a kind of on your own together) such as reading a book, listening to movies or music, knitting, drawing or painting.
3. As the inevitable disagreements arise, make time to chill out before talking over and resolving the difficulty. One chill out technique which you can start before leaving home is to focus on your breathing and gradually breathe deeply and easily into your belly (diaphragm) and do this for three to five minutes. Even a few seconds of this can calm your tension. The more you use this, the better you become at it, so start right now. It’s like learning to play an instrument… lots of practice makes for improvement. Make sure you come back to one another to work out the issue to clear the air. Unaddressed matters can ferment underneath and come out later.
4. Focus on the positive of what you are experiencing. This can be a particular challenge if you are in a place where language, culture and customs are different. Remind yourself of why you chose this vacation and make the most of a new experience, which does involve discomfort and fun in varying degrees.
5. And if everything goes sideways, make your best efforts to work out the issues and focus on what you have gained from the experience of this time. Not all holidays are the stuff of dreams.

The main point is to anticipate possible stressors on your relationships before you go on vacation and deal with them as much as possible before leaving home. Recognize that conflict is normal and that difficulties come up, even when you are visiting the most beautiful places in the world. Make a plan for handling these and remember to take steps to make your vacation a positive, memorable experience. If it is not, chock it up to experience and learn from it for the next time.