Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Tips
What is savoring? Take 10 seconds to enjoy
According to Fred Bryant and Joseph Veroff (2007), savoring involves noticing and appreciating the positive aspects of life – the positive counterpart to coping. Savoring is more than pleasure – it also involves mindfulness and “conscious attention to the experience of pleasure” (p. 5). You can savor vicariously, enjoying another person’s pleasure. At this time of year, and at any time of year, savoring can allow you to really feel any of the positive things going on in your life. Here’s how
How to savor
Dr. Rick Hansen in one of my favorite books, Hardwiring Happiness: The New Science of Contentment , Calm and Confidence gives a really easy way to savor. Take ten seconds at a time to think about all the aspects of a positive experience you want to savor. I call this the drip method. Little by little you fill up yourself with these and you can be overflowing, much like the drip of a faucet into a stoppered sink, eventually the one drip overflows the sink. Done regularly and consistently, these experiences will form new neural pathways in our brains while the old pathways get weaker from disuse.
Fred Bryant and Joseph Veroff in their book Savoring: The New Model of Positive Experience cite several savoring processes such as marveling, thanksgiving, basking and luxuriating. They go on to say that savoring occurs in various timeframes. We can savor by anticipating future pleasures, experiencing present pleasures, and reminiscing about past pleasures.
People are different in their preferences for future, present, and past savoring. If you particularly enjoy anticipating, start planning early so that you have lots of time to think about a future event. If you particularly enjoy reminiscing, keep pictures and reminders to revisit past pleasures. Mindfulness is important for experiencing present pleasures to keep attention focused.
Want more of Dr. Hanson’s brain based approach to happiness. Here’s a link to purchase his book Hardwiring Happiness.
A Really Good Gift to Give your Relationship: More love, enjoyment & intimacy
A mountain retreat for your relationship in beautiful Canmore, Alberta. May 4- 6 or October 19 – 21, 2018. Hold Me Tight: A Transformational Weekend Retreat for Couples. Book now to save.
This retreat is ideal for you if:
- You feel disconnected from your partner.
- You find yourself in the same disagreement over and over again.
- You feel like you spend more time in conflict than in good times.
- You are worried your relationship is slipping away.
- You want to have a stronger relationship.
Here is a link to more information and registration.
Please feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or call at 403.675.5379
My Gift to You: The Month of Kindness
One of my guiding principles lately has been kindness. I found this online kindness Advent Calendar for daily suggestions of acts of kindness leading up to Christmas. It really inspires me. You can download it for yourself, put it on your frig, do the suggested activities, share it with friends. Make December the month of kindness. There is also a version for children, which is fun to do even as an adult. Enjoy. I am not getting any financial gain from this, but rather am simply providing the link to some good material. Here’s the link.